Sunday, August 19, 2012

A Look Back: The Life of Daniel F. Ford
Chapter 8: Everyday Life at my Age

I combed through my personal archives to get a sense of the person I was in order to understand the person I am. I unearthed an autobiography I was assigned to write in the 8th grade. For the next several weeks, I’ll be publishing each chapter of the book. 

I have but one thing to say about life: it’s not perfect. As I said before, life is one obstacle after another. In this chapter, I’ll tell you a little about life at my age. 

The first thing I’m going to talk about is the many conflicts that invade my life everyday. One of them is girls (editorial note: nothing like unburdening your 14-year-old soul to your middle school English teacher). Some of them keep asking me out no matter how many times I say no. Then they get mad at me and try to blame me for everything that goes on in their lives (editorial note: if you haven’t stopped laughing yet, it’s okay, neither have I). 

And along come the family conflicts. Every family has these conflicts and mine is no exception. Some of these conflicts occur with my younger brother. At one point, I was doing all the chores and he was doing nothing. Thankfully, that problem has been solved. Also, we would be playing a game and he’d lose. He would then start pouting or crying and I would get in trouble! Does that sound fair? I don’t think so. Another major conflict in my life is my bedtime (editorial note: I agree, this ranks no where near child poverty or homelessness). My bedtime is 8:30 p.m. even on the weekends. I am in the process of working this out with my mother. 

Very little has changed between us over the years.
I am totally the opposite of all my friends. In the 1990s, anything that is on MTV is cool, but I stick to VH1 (editorial note: if this sentence doesn’t define my level of cool, I don’t know what does). Most of the guys have either a bowl cut or a skateboard—although I’m not sure what a skateboard is). I usually have a bowl cut (editorial note: I have yet to destroy all photo evidence of this era, but I’m working on it). The music of the 1990s is rap and rock, but I listen to country music. 

Despite being different from the “in crowd,” I enjoy many things that those kids like. I enjoy adventure movies like Independence Day. But unlike them, I don’t consider anything “out.” I find everything in life to be interesting and cool (editorial note: that’s still my motto). However, I will try to tell you about some of the things that my friends find “in.” Some like baggy pants and big shirts. I’m not sure what’s “in” with girls, but I’m guessing that smiley faces on shirts is cool. As I said, I’m not sure, because I’m not a girl (editorial note: I’m sure I felt the need to clear that up after the VH1 and bowl cut comments).

Now, on to school life. I can sum it all up in one word: boring! No, I’m just kidding. In fact, another reason that I am different from my friends is that I love school. Call me crazy, but that’s just the kind of person I am (editorial note: I am technically still in school and working on my thesis on the Korean War). 

Anyway, here’s a look at a typical school day. I walk to school and then wait for the bell to ring. After the bell, I put my stuff in my locker and go to my homeroom. After homeroom, I go to first period, which is science, then to reading and English. After lunch, I go to math and social studies. I then go to my flex period and then go home. The only thing I dislike about school is math because I have trouble doing problems. School is very important to me because I want to become a big success and make lots of money.

As far as the weekend goes, I have no complaints (editorial note: a nation breathes easy). On Fridays, we usually watch a movie and pig out on Pringles. On Saturdays, we just hang around unless my mother wants to go shopping or something. On Sundays, we go to breakfast, go to the grocery store, and then go to church. After that we have the rest of the day to do anything we want. 

As I said before, girls are a big conflict in my life (editorial note: I switched to scotch before typing out this paragraph). Although I do not find all girls annoying, I have problems with some of them. I think they are pretty and interesting (editorial note: start with the good, follow with the snow shovel, I always say). Others I think act like babies. The ones I like, I usually don’t have a problem with. On the other hand, I have problems with the ones that act immature (editorial note: resisting the urge to make a snarky remark about some of my ex-girlfriends). All they do is complain and criticize (editorial note: pouring more scotch…). So that’s what I think of the opposite sex.

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